Murder at the Academy Awards, Joan Rivers

Author R for the Great Library Challenge.

I've been somewhat fascinated by Joan Rivers since reading all the profiles and reviews that came in the wake of the documentary, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work. What's most fascinating is that she's so candid about her desperation to be the centre of attention in Hollywood and her shameless antics for staying there.

With a career that literally spans decades in front of the camera, Ms Rivers has turned her hand to writing and along with Jerrilyn Farmer (the author of the Madeline Bean culinary mystery series) penned this novel, which I vaguely understand may be turned into a series.

In Murder at the Academy Awards, the protagonist Maxine Taylor is the extremely-thin veiled literary doppelganger of Rivers herself. She and her daughter Drew do what Rivers and her daughter Melissa do in real life: stalk celebrities on the red carpet for interviews as they head into the Academy Awards ceremony.

The mystery begins when one of Hollywood's brightest young starlets, who also happens to have been a close school friend of Drew's, drops dead on the red carpet mid-interview with Max Taylor. Very soon, Max is on the chase, using her wiles to enter rehab under false pretences and crash glamorous parties to find the murderer and clear her daughter's name.

It's an easy to read, light-hearted romp that basically expounds the cleverness of Max Taylor and her love for her daughter Drew. However, Rivers' sharp wit doesn't translate that well in written form, and many of the gags seem rather belaboured. It's all in the name of fun though, and if you can wade through the heavy name dropping and you don't mind the re-imagining of Hollywood with Rivers and her daughter as the nucleus, you may enjoy it.

Here's an interview with Rivers from Amazon editorial:


Q: What kinds of books do you enjoy?
A: At my age, anything in large print.

Q: Is it true when they say that you should “write what you know”?
A: Absolutely, which is why my next book is about having thighs that are visible from outer space.

Q: What is it like having a novel published at the age of 75?
A: I am so old, even the spine of my book has osteoporosis.

Q: Computer, typewriter or pen and paper. What tools did you use to write your first book? 
A: Chisel and stone.

Q: Are you one of those writers who work at home in a dirty old bathrobe without showering for days? 
A: Yes, except for the part about working at home.

Q: What’s the first step in getting a publisher interested in your book?
A: A check for fifty grand made out to “cash”.

Battle Los Angeles: 2 minute movie review

I really didn't know what to expect with this movie as I hadn't seen any shorts, and we decided to watch it on a whim influenced by cheap tickets. Based on the poster I decided it was your typical disaster movie with usual bad script, ham acting and no plot, so imagine my surprise to see Aaron Eckhart front and centre.

As it turns out, Battle Los Angeles is actually an alien invasion movie. It's kind of like what you'd get if you crossed Men in Black with Black Hawk Down, because apart from the main storyline of aliens trying to take over Earth, there was a sub-plot involving battle-worn Marine Sargeant Michael Nantz (Eckhart) having to win the trust of a new crew, and a theme of heroes versus heroics.

All in all I thought it was a decent movie. Nothing spectacular apart from the effects, but still there was actually a plot, which is a step up from many of these big flicks.

Verdict: a great date movie for teenagers.

IN PRAISE OF: The Rock

I've decided to start a new Friday meme (because there aren't enough memes in the world) called 'in praise of', and every week I'm going to praise something new. I think we - generally, collectively - are more inclined to complain than praise, and it's time to turn the tables.

So my first praiseworthy subject: The Rock. I know right! Strange first choice. But listen.

The general and noteworthy stats are that his name is Dwayne Douglas Johnson, he was born in 1972 from a Samoan background, and he was a professional wrestler (hence the name) before becoming an actor. You might know him from such movies as The Scorpion King, Welcome to the Jungle and most recently, the ads for Fast Five, the latest instalment of the interminable Fast and the Furious series starring Vin Diesel, who I consider a kind of poor man's Rock.

I chose him mostly because I watched Welcome to the Jungle on TV the other night and was very highly entertained - it's a funny movie, and while most of the humour comes from Seann William Scott (another praiseworthy subject based on his roles in this and Role Models), it was really great to see The Rock quite happily make fun of himself.

It got me thinking how clever it is of him (and/or his agent) to do that, as it jumps the punchline of anyone who would dismiss him as simply a meathead by parodying that image of himself in movies like Get Smart and his cameo on The Other Guys.

His movie choices are usually quite safe - either major action or comedy, even dabbling in some Schwarzenegger-esque kids movies like The Tooth Fairy - but he seems to know his limitations and I like how he doesn't try to be someone he isn't, like a serious dramatic actor.

He's even released a New York Times bestseller called The Rock Says. Don't expect a review anytime soon, but hey, respect.

I love people who don't take themselves too seriously, and he certainly fits the bill. He's big enough to bash anyone who would be so stupid as to question his masculinity, so he can prance around in a tutu and people will laugh with him, not at him.

So Mr Rock, I praise you.

Dog On It, Spencer Quinn: book review

Meet Chet, the canine partner of the crime-smashing duo of Spencer Quinn's series Chet and Bernie. Dog On It (forgive the terrible pun) is the first of the series and is narrated entirely from the point of view of Chet, whose keen intelligence and olfactory sense is easily matched by his affinity for scarfing down old scraps and sniffing bottoms.

Bernie Little, the principle of the Little Detective Agency, is the human owner of crime-sniffing canine Chet and comes across as a most affable fellow thanks to Chet's interpretation. Like most other detectives you've ever heard of, he's 'hard bitten' and 'steely', but from Chet's point of view we get to also see his vulnerable side. As a character he's not as fleshed out as Chet, but we like him enormously anyway.

The plot of Dog On It revolves around a missing teenage girl and the dirt Chet and Bernie discover when they're hired to find her. Her disappearance somehow seems to involve a Russian crime gang and a lot of money.

During the course of their investigations, Chet manages to get into a number of scrapes coming this close to being put down at a dog pound. It's heart-thrilling stuff. And it's heartwarming too, as we get to see the foibles of human relations through his eyes and his utterly endearing loyalty to Bernie.

Dog On It is a wonderfully funny book which I was so glad to discover is a series, because it's something I'd love to come back to again and again.

How to Catch a Star (Oliver Jeffers) at Kiddie Book Club

The major benefit of working as a freelance copywriter is having a flexible schedule that allows me to attend events as illustrious as the Kiddie Book Club, where today I had the honour of being a Guest Reader.

Kiddie Book Club is run by my good friend Haej Wolfson, who also happens to have the biggest heart and largest capacity of just about anyone I know. By 'capacity' I mean the sheer number of events, people, jobs and children she can juggle without breaking a sweat.

So with four little members aged from almost-two to four eager to hear a story (the book club is only in its infancy), I opened and read How to Catch a Star, written by one of my favourite artists and children's book author/illustrators Oliver Jeffers.

How to Catch a Star is a beautiful story about a young boy who dreams of having a star as a friend, and schemes ways of catching one from the sky. While reading it today, I learnt a major lesson about reading to children: keep their focus on the story.

Children can be truly enigmatic in their ability to swing from ADD-like shoutiness to autismic focus in a millisecond. I made the mistake very early on of asking, 'how many stars can you count on this page?', which of course caused them to shout out loud the number of stars on every page I turned, completely ignoring the unfolding storyline.

I'd like to think they got something out of it though, as they switched from fighting over a headband to fighting over a little confetti star afterwards.

Thanks for the honour Kiddie Book Club! Call on me anytime.

The Adjustment Bureau: 2 minute movie review

How could I fail to love a movie with two of my favourite stars: Matt Damon and Emily Blunt? PLUS it's been advertised as a cross between Bourne and Inception, two fantastic movies (well, one is a series). I wouldn't say it quite hits all those highs: it's not as action-driven as Bourne or as clever and complicated as Inception, but it's still damn good.

If you've seen any of the ads you'll know it's a conceptual film about a bureau that 'adjusts' the fate of humans in keeping with an overall Plan with a capital P. Damon and Blunt play two lovers who are proverbially star-crossed, trying to stay together despite the best attempts of the bureau to separate them. It's quite classically Philip K Dick (in that you're pretty sure the idea was drug-induced). On the whole, the film is really quite good, although there are a few clunky obvious bits, but just suspend your cynicism and go for the ride. It's a good one.

My Favourite Wife, Bill Parsons (book review)

Apparently Tony Parsons (my 'P' author for the Great Library Challenge) has sold a ton of books so I decided to give this one a go. The short verdict: failed to grab me.

The protagonist is Bill Holden, a 'good' man and ambitious lawyer who, in his drive to make partner, moves to Shanghai with his beautiful and intelligent wife Becca and their adorable four year old daughter Holly. If they sound typical, it's because they are. The family is a walking, talking, one-dimensional modern cliche of the Western world.

Becca, who initiated the move, finds the craziness of Shanghai overwhelming (a major factor being the discarded baby she finds in the trash of their luxury highrise apartment, populated largely by the 'second wives' (a.k.a. mistresses) of rich men) and takes Holly back to London for a while. During her absence, Bill takes up with JinJin, a local leggy second wife who is lonely during the long absences of her married partner.

Parsons paints Bill as a man caught between two worlds: troubled by the corruption he finds in the dizzying economic growth of Shanghai and trapped between two loves. Although most of the ingredients are there (Bill is genuinely interested in the plight of second wives and feels more keenly for the Chinese locals than his Western counterparts), his character never quite reaches the complexity required to engage our empathy. Parsons' attempt to keep Bill high-minded backfires quite badly too, as it smacks of Western elitism and hypocrisy, because when you strip away the facade, the basic fact is that he is cheating on his wife with a local, just like many other men before him. The layers of supposed complexity are simply that: contrived to make his affair with JinJin appear more a matter of the heart than the other major male organ.

Normally I quite like hearing the male perspective in modern fiction (Nick Hornby and Jonathan Tropper for example), but I just couldn't find the connection point with this novel, so it totally failed to engage me. Sorry Mr Parsons.