Pepsi slogan: Come Alive with the Pepsi Generation
Taiwanese: "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the dead."
KFC: Finger Lickin' Good
Chinese: "Eat your fingers off."
Electrolux: something in Swedish
English: "Nothing sucks like Electrolux."
A cafe sign in Chinese: Welcome foreigners
In English: Welcome big nose friends
Speaking of things that make me laugh, these are a few websites I love to visit for a dose of serotonin:
Crazy Things Parents Say
Examples:
My Grandma on hooking a bowling ball on Wii Bowling:
Grandma: "I’ve always been a hooker. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t a hooker."
Grandpa: "You know, when I met your grandma, she was a hooker."
Mom: “Okay, go get the electric broom and sweep in here.”
Me: “Electric broom? We have an electric broom?”
Mom: “Yes.”
Me: “And where is it?”
Mom: “Right there.”
Me: “…that’s a vacuum, Mom.”
Mom: “…be quiet and get to work.”
My mom when my dad sent her a two page long text message:
“One of Two? Two of Two? What is he trying to say? Is it a secret code?”
Clients from hell:
Examples:
Client: A contact has a friend thats tight with Google so he’ll get us to the top ranking.
Me: I don’t think it works like that.
Client: Don’t worry, we have it covered. My friend’s friend is tight with that Zakenburger kid from Myspace.
Client: “We don’t want people to think that everyone using our service is black. Can you make most of the people white?”
Me: “They are stick figures, I don’t think there’s going to be any racial profiling.”
Client: “Well you’re using black lines for all of them. We want to see most of them as white.”
Me: “Don’t you think that would look even more racist? Besides, it’s a white background, the white stick figures would disappear.”
Client: “Then change it to a black background and make the black people disappear. I don’t know, just figure it out.”
Client: ”I love the job you did! Thanks so much!”
Me: ”Great! Best of luck with it! I sent you the invoice. We did more than what we had agreed to and did not charge you for it.”
Client: ”Yes, and as soon as I get your expenses, I will pay you.”
Me: ”What do you mean by our expenses?”
Client: ”Well, I need to get what you paid for materials, etc. so I know if what you are charging me is fair.”
Me: ”But we agreed to a price and you agreed to it and thought it was fair, we delivered more than the price we agreed to and you love it? I’m not going to give you what we paid for materials, printing, etc? When you go to a restaurant and order a meal and eat it, do you ask for the price of the lobster and ingredients when the bill comes before you’ll pay?”
Client: ”What I do or do not do in restaurants is not relevant. First of all, I never order lobster. Second, you don’t understand how business works. You really need to understand business better. I won’t pay until I see what your costs were.”
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