Friday, August 7, 2009

G.I. Joe, movie review

Posted by lea at 12:28 PM
G.I. Joe had one redeeming factor: it increased my endorphin levels. I couldn't stop laughing at the terrible dialogue, hokey plot, lame accents and one-dimensional characters. At one point, the evil geniuses (genii?) are two bald, burnt men hobbling away by foot – yeah, scar-ee. You couldn't help but feel sorry for Dennis Quaid, who is lumped with a few clichès and a pretty thin hapless part in his role as the head of the Joes – supposedly an elite fighting squad, who somehow manage to stay one step behind the villains all the way through the movie, despite their fancy gadgets and high tech weaponry. Channing Tatum does a credible brooding job as Duke, the central character and one of the newest Joe recruits, but Sienna Miller... what's with the catwalk strut all the way through the movie? Is she normally that bad an actor or was she simply embarrassed to be part of this film? Marlon Wayans gets a few laughs in his black-sidekick role, but it doesn't come near the calibre of Chris Rock, who perfected this part a long time ago.

Questions (spoiler alert):
  • Why was the US buying the nanomite weapons in the first place, knowing that they're so destructive that the rest of the movie is made up of trying to stop the bad guys from using it?
  • Why do weapons need to be 'weaponised'?
  • How is it possible that so many ppl on the two opposing 'elite fighting teams' have random ties to one another?
  • If the Baroness is suddenly meant to overcome her mind-control device at the end when she suddenly recognises and remembers her previous life with Duke, then why, at the beginning when they cross paths, does she say, 'you of all people should know'?
  • Why the hell would her younger brother suddenly turn into an evil genius after one bomb blast?
  • Why are the martial arts flashbacks set in Japan, but the kid (Storm Shadow as child) speaks Korean?
  • Doesn't a white ninja suit defeat the purpose of being a ninja in the first place (to be unseen)?
  • As much as I like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who the hell cast him as the evil mastermind? He still looks like a 12 year old.
Rating: Go watch it if you need a laugh, but if you want a good tight action film, look elsewhere.

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