It was mean of me. He had just apologised after an argument in which neither of us were very much in the right, and throughout which I had been liberally dropping the f-bomb, which is kind of a new thing for me. Then I proceeded to give him a bit of the silent treatment. You know, just to show how very hurt I was. I knew I should apologise too, but instead, I simply said, 'arsehole'. And he became quite upset. Not just because I called him an arsehole, but because of the way I said it. Not fun, like the American 'asshole'. I said it with feeling. Emphatically, like 'arsehole'.
He gave me a bit of a dressing down, which I deserved, and basically told me in no uncertain terms to grow up. I've been swearing a bit lately and it's his opinion that the f-word is a novelty for me. I must admit that it's true. I didn't swear much growing up. Sure, after the odd volleyball game that our team lost, I would lose it even more and say every bad word I knew under the sun, which mostly revolved around 'shitty', but when I became almost puritanical (a phase in my Christian journey), I abstained from any swearing apart from the odd 'crap'. Now, since I feel so very grown up and believe in a more liberal doctrine, when I lose my temper I say f. As in fuck. Then, to my lovely husband who puts up with a lot of my crap, I called arsehole.
As it transpires, my husband used to swear a lot. No surprise to those who know him - he came into Christianity a lot later than I did and was a bit rough around the edges growing up, but he's put in a lot of effort to change. Even now he wears a metaphorical nicotine patch for swearing, much to my benefit, and then suddenly I'm all f-this and f-that - like blowing smoke in his face.
I think he's worried that if I keep going like this, it's going to coarsen my nature. And I agree, it probably will. So now I'm going to stop. No more f-s. No more calling people I love very unflattering body parts.
This post is purely cathartic - to confess my wrongdoing and announce my determination to stop swearing. Except for shit, which I will continue to use because I feel it expresses things so beautifully.
And to my husband, who occasionally reads my blog, let me lay another very emphatic word on you. Sorry.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
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3 comments:
Motherf****r sure laid the smack on you, b***h! :-)
I think we all have an inner swear-bear. If you could hear my internal dialogues, you'd probably think that I was trying very hard to sound like a gangster rapper.
But yeah, I think your hubby was spot on for calling you on the novelty factor though. However, I do strongly believe that swear-words have their proper place: http://www.cyberseraphic.com/2004/05/f-what-i-said-it-dont-mean-s-now/
I think they're just words. It's society that has enforced a positive or negative meaning.
The power of the hubby eh? I've never heard you admit wrong to me!!!
I agree that swearing has its place. For example if someone cuts me off in traffic, a quick expletive helps release the anger, which is better than letting it stew. I think the 'badness' of swearing comes down to the context. Swearing to release anger = not so bad. Swearing at people = bad.
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